I don’t know who said this but I love it. I recall my first experience of feeling fully attended to. It was when I saw a counselor in my early 20’s. I will always remember how he gave me his undivided attention. I felt like the most important person in his world. I can’t even recall what he said to me. His words were eclipsed by his rapt attention. This experience of being received fully has had a deep and profound effect on my life and the way I listen to others.
In my desire to emulate this skill of attentive listening, I have become aware of
Ineffective Listening Skills:
- Half-hearted listening for a pause to talk
- Interrupting—‘the cardinal sin’
- Listening to disagree or argue
- Listening to ‘make-wrong’
- Listening to give advice
- Listening to one-up
- And the list goes on and on….
Effective Listening Skills:
- Being aware of the value of the gift of your presence
- Making eye contact
- Giving your undivided attention
- Letting go of your agenda
- Pausing before you respond
- Being in non-judgment
- Affirming the speaker to indicate that you have been listening
- Knowing that it is not your job to solve their problem–your
only job is to hold a space of compassion and acceptance for them.
I challenge you to practice the skill of being an effective listener. Be patient.. You might even notice a positive effect upon your relationships…
EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a gentle and effective system of clearing self-sabotage and limiting beliefs from your energy system—this frees you to awaken your power and take inspired action to be the powerful creator that you were designed to be.
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